April 23, 2014

U for Use and throw!!!

Use and throw is the norm these days. Right from pens to paper towels, forks to folks, gums to girl friends; we use and throw what we don't need any more. If it is material things, it's alright. What if we use and throw things that have life and feelings attached? Those things get hurt and start to react and show the reaction of the hurt feelings. That's when the people that USED get confused on what is wrong with these things? (With feelings).

Again, they come in all forms. In the form of friends, boy friends, girl friends, relatives, cousins, colleagues, roommates, neighbors, sometimes siblings too. Fools like me don't realise that you are really being used. You let them use you as long as they can. Not just letting them use you, you also go out of your way; above and beyond to make things happen for them. You cannot bear to see them get hurt or take any pain in the process. In turn, you take all the pains at the cost of your valuable time, money, family and innumerable stuff.

Some of the Use and throw types we come across in our lives:
  • Can I see your stamp collection book? You have the rarest of stamps. Can I show it to my parents? Oh yes...oh yes...You wait for a week and hear "Oh so sorry. I lost/misplaced it."
  • Lend your books and expect them to return them back. You hear, "Oh ..I thought you don't need them. I gave them to someone else". And they turn their back next time they see you.
  • She met him through some common friends. They started seeing each other. She would spend on him as he was still trying to settle. When he found a job, he didn't have time for her any more. He started seeing other girls.
  • Your husband's second cousin's sister in law's niece. She is new to town. Doesn't have a car. Poor girl. Needs help. You help in everything from buying grocery to the new car. Once she has the car and the set up, forget about a thank you for everything. You need to still call and ask how she is doing.
  • Your kid's classmate's mom. Drops her kids for play dates or baby sit as you are a SAHM. You call to request for a pick up once as you are at the dentist's; you get a sweet soft reply, Oh sorry dear! I wish I could do that. We are going to the soccer practice after school.
  • A random friend. I have an interview tomorrow. Can you show me something. I have few questions. You give her an appointment on weekends and she never turns up. She comes on a weekday and you end up staying till midnight only to screw up your next day.
  • You need to arrange ladies outings, potlucks, movies and malls. They love you. They need you, but not your kids. Because their kids will be spoiled at the thought of your kids.
There were and are dozens of categories of such people everywhere. Just be attentive and sharp. If you feel you are taken for a ride, give them a piece of cake (your mind). Unfortunately, I am bad at doing that. So, I learned to keep quiet and move away.


What's your experience with these Use and Throw types?

30 comments:

  1. I try as much as possible to not be taken for a ride...But at times there are some who come for help and I go out of the way to help them and the next day they lecture me on how the way I suggested and worked for since they had no other solution was wrong..argh!

    U for Uncanny-Random Thoughts Naba

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    1. You are a smart person then :) I know what you are saying..they are helpless when they approach you and again they blame you for your suggestion not working out...hopeless people

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  2. This is the way you are Prudhvi Like Me....:). Try hard to learn to say NO/Sorry...Naah you cannot ,U get tumbled over by another USELESS creature and You try to stretch your hand farther to be able to help them knowing you are being used ..:)

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    1. kukka toka vankara kada akka...we don't learn our lessons easily...for me, it is the hard way all the time...Now, I think I know who is the type who uses...let us see until I get tumbled over again :)

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  3. It's very important to draw boundaries and say no. When people just use you, it's best to walk away. Even I find it difficult to give anyone a piece of my mind....I just move away instead...

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    1. Exactly...the mistake is not theirs..I think it is mine..forgetting there is something called boundaries. I am learning slowly..thank you for stopping by. :)

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  4. I try not to accept it, but yes I have been used just for other benefits so many times...

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    1. Looks like you are also like me, Ananya..:) We all will learn out of our mistakes and grow..

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  5. I am as bad as u r at getting rid of such users. These days so many relationships are like business deals. Thats why If I get a good friend spclly in neighbors and at work place I get very cautious but if I realise I enjoy their company I stick to them as they are rare species

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    1. True Afhsan...neighbors and work place friends..are the ones we meet and stay together in the short run..the problem with me is, I don't judge what this person must be..I assume everyone is good and fair and where as they are not.

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  6. you helps people from bottom of your heart , at impulse not as planned or with expectation and it is gods gift to you and more to the people around you....... you are the blossom in our world .... we dint realize blossom need our reaction ...... believe me .... you are one rare person who talks tough but wonderful person any one can ever meet.........

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  7. Oh yes! I do know some people and I am getting smarter each day because I can easily recognize such people. In fact I have ultra sensitive radar which goes Beep!Beep! when I see them :) But seriously what I do is just ignore such people. Don't give them an opportunity to take you for a ride. A firm No usually works and they get the message :)

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    1. Oh dear Prasanna, won't you transfer your radar senses to me, pleaseeee? I am in the process of learning as I am just realising who are the ones who actually used you.. :)

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  8. It's sad but it happens. Of course, I dislike such people if I can figure them out that is.

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    1. haii naa....really re..I wish I could figure them out much before the damage happens :)

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  9. I might actually murder someone if they lose my stamp collection!! :P luckily I have been surrounded by very caring people :)

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    1. heheeh....one idiotic boy did it in school...good people out numbered these types in my life too...thank you for reading :)

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  10. well one of the bad points of being in uk.. everyone wants to use you.. if someone is coming . B can you pick from airport .. can you drop them .. etc etc

    Bikram

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    1. Hahaha...I would also ask you...Can you pick me up from the airport? When I stop on my way to India? hehehe...you have no option..you are in the middle...

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    2. noo i did not mean that way.. I meant people who just want to be picked , dropped somewhere and thats it .. and after that no communication.

      but when you come you will be staying with us for sure , that is different :)

      Bikram

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    3. heheh..you know I was just kidding...I also didn't mean it either...oh loads of them bhai saab...I think we also should pick, drop and forget...or rather not pick them at all.. sounds good naa :) oh thank you so much :)

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  11. F in F,

    I have been a victim of such persons often and it surely does hurts bad but that still does not deter me to help someone. Now I do take precautions of not putting self on limb to get hurt later. I have also learnt to recognize such characters and am duly cautious.

    Take care

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    1. Glad you can recognise them now...I am still learning...to be cautious.

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  12. That's why I don't have friends. Then no one asks me for anything. (just kidding...)

    I don't recall any time that someone has used me. Guess it's good to remember that stuff is just stuff and generosity isn't expecting something in return.

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    1. You are right, Loni. Generosity isn't expecting something...but when people take advantage of the generosity that's when the real trouble starts.

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  13. That was fairly a good list.The pity is that people who use suffer no remorse and feel what they do is ok.Here is where the ability to say a strict NO without hurting comes.Then they will go to easy quarry.

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    1. Exactly....they don't even know that they are using someone...they behave as if it is our duty for knowing or having a relationship with them.

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  14. Oh, people are so mean really! They mistake other people's good manners for their weakness. It is so annoying.

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    1. It is Dagny. It is hurtful at the same time.

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