Dear Friends, not so friends and all those numbers on my phone,
Apparently, it happens that I am one of those millions of smartphone users. Not denying the fact that social media has shrunk the world big time, we still are not in contact with every single number on our phones.
I realized that I have 524 contacts on my phone. I bet most of you have a similar number of numbers on your mobiles. A few hundred more or a few hundred less. Though Facebook and Whatsapp have significantly reduced the geographical distance between each other, at any given point in time in life, I am not in touch with more than 10-20 people. Tell me honestly, how many of you maintain the communication back and forth?
What I have noticed over the years at each phase of life is, we communicate only with a limited set of folks. Reasons may be different. This is true especially for people like me who have been on the move for the past decade. I started my life in an apartment and made few friends in the complex. I used to be in regular contact with them. Eventually, I found a job and made new friends. Slowly my interaction with my friends at the Apartment complex reduced. Some moved out. Some moved in. But I don't have the time to be friends with new ones. Later I moved out and the cycle continued. This happened again and again with me over the years. I moved places and shifted jobs. Made new connections and lost a few old ones.
One fine day, a school classmate or your childhood neighbor's son or your school teacher's daughter pops up on the horizon. You talk to them in full gusto for the first few weeks. Exchange phone calls, connect on Facebook, text on WhatsApp, meet for lunch or dinner, or a reunion if possible. After all the hustle-bustle has settled down, we promise to keep in touch and fall back into our routines.
On another boring day, your smartphone buzzes. You knit your brows and lift the phone debating. You are accused of not keeping in touch, of not calling the other person, of not pinging them often. There is a smile on your face along with a sigh. There could also be a grunt or a grumble. I am sure each one of us must have faced this situation at least once.
S and I had always had this discussion of keeping in touch. Why don't people keep in touch? Are people really so busy? Why does one feel that he/she is the person who communicates all the time? etc..etc. Above all, why don't people pick up their phones? And let me tell you, no one has a phone smaller or not so smarter than the latest released iPhone. After mulling over it for many months and years.....
Here's the deal. Before you accuse someone next time for not making a call or pinging or texting you; please open your smartphone and check the last time you both communicated. By the way, who contacted who first? If it's you, then don't be sorry. Feel proud for taking that extra step in maintaining the relationship. If it's always you, then think about it. I would continue calling the person or keep in touch only if I care for them. If not, move on. After all, you have one life and it is short. Like them, you don't have all the time in the world...
Yours truly!
Yours truly!
Posts
ఉండండి నేను కుడా నా ఫోన్ చెక్ చేసుకోవాల్సిన టైం అని గుర్తు చేశారు.. చాలా బాగా రాశారు లతా జీ :) మీకు, మీ ఫామిలీ కి దసరా శుభాకాంక్షలు :) :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha...check chesukunnava mari? Enta mandi telaaru? Thank you, Nagini. mee andariki kooda :)
DeleteYes Latha, you are correct. I have also got about 500 contacts in my pkone, but hardly call two or three every day. After I got a new iphone some activity has increased ,
ReplyDeleteSo now I think you will put your smart phone to best use. And you know it is hard to call more than two or three a day. If you do more than that, people will think you don't have any other work..so you are disturbing them :)
Delete:) 524 contacts wowo.. no not everyone has that many .. I just have maybe a hundred :)
ReplyDeleteand true what you say we accuse others of not trying to be in touch when we sometimes ourself fail to do so ..
although i have stopped bothering about that now .. if someone contacts me its fine otherwise also it is fine.. BUT on other hand if I feel like talking ot someone I call and talk .. simple
life is short to worry about such things
HOW ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG :)
Bikram's
Hehehe...exactly...if you feel like calling and talking to someone, just go ahead and do it...or else leave it..Also never worry that someone is not calling you...waste of time...ask your any other family member how many contacts they have? May be at least 300. Lol...I am doing good...
DeleteIt does get a bit overwhelming beyond a point. Family, friends, bloggers, school friends, apartment friends.....Balance is the key, I guess.
ReplyDeleteIt sure does, Alka. Very true. Balance is the key. I used to feel sometimes that I am not able to keep in touch with all but you know they also should keep try to do the same with me. Very happy to see you here after a long time. :)
DeleteWhat you wrote is true but it is always a pleasure to catch up with you,Latha:)
ReplyDeleteHahaha...that's my pleasure, Rahul sir. I am sorry for your loss and happy to see you back blogging..yet to read your latest post.
DeleteWe often confuse friends with people who we are friends with.
ReplyDeleteOur true friends will always be a handful and hopefully not keep count of who texted first :-)
I so loved your statement: "We often confuse friends with people who we are friends with. " That changes the entire meaning of my post :D I know...I really wish we shouldn't come to a point where we counted who texted first for real friends...
DeleteYou put it all so well, Ashwini. That was what I wanted to say. When I don't call doesn't mean, I forgot them or don't care about them, it means I have a life too..and I am busy. Many people accuse me when they speak, "oh you remember me? you never call?" And I lose it at that moment. And 99 % of the times, it is me who tries to be in touch..
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people, unfortunately, who has a hard time keeping in touch! :(
ReplyDeleteSo, you think you want to keep in touch now? ;-) I know it takes up a lot of time in our crazy schedules to do it on a regular basis...many times I question myself, is it really worth it?
Deleteahh... nice to read your writing after a long time. :) It is good to be back. Very well written. Keeping in touch is always a conundrum. I think the people who consider us as true friends will never worry about not talking on a daily or regular basis. They wont accuse us of not calling or not trying to keep in touch. We might go days, months without talking. But the moment we do, it will be like old days again. I think those are the real ones. :)
ReplyDeleteFirst point first, very very happy to see you back. 'Cos you are one of the very first bloggers I remember reading and continue to be and always have a special place :)Yes, this keeping in touch has become crucial despite all these apps that keep us together. You are right. True friends won't blame us for not keeping in touch. But these days, everything has become so sensitive..you never know who feels bad for what? Who feels taken for granted when? It's becoming challenging to maintain relations.
DeleteBtw.... where have you disappeared? Come back and write more! :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha....I think I am taking your mode of disappearance, Raj. OMG....it's more than two months now...I think I need a kick from the back to write often.hehe
DeleteYeah.... dont disappear.... plzzz.... :) You are too good a writer and two months is enough break for the pen! :) Come back soon.
DeleteAwww...that's something wonderful someone told me in a long time :) Will come back soon.
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