The house was quiet. As if relatives stayed for a whole month and left. It was so silent all of a sudden. Ammu and I looked at each other. She knew the meaning of that look. S brushed it off in his usual emotionless state. We got into doing our regular chores but the mundane tasks seemed to be even more lifeless.

I would involuntarily call his name for dinner and the Rrr would stop in my mouth and I would swallow it within. I did not want to go to his room and saved it for a little later. That night the daddy daughter duo said, "Sleep peacefully...it's quiet". I know I have all the peace in the world now and all the quietness I always desired for. 

When he was at home, this was how the routine went. We around 9:00 AM before starting our work, "Rushi, get up. It's 9". Then the same scream at 10, 11, 12 ...he would finally wake up and eat cereal before we had our lunch. I would repeat the same thing everyday, "Why don't you eat lunch now when it's already late?" He immersed in his phone would say without lifting his head, "I'll eat at 1". The same words...every day. 

I know he is not far away like other kids in our community who are studying across the coast. I know I can see him in the time one can take a shower and get ready to work. I know he's only a phone call away but still it is not the same.

I wanted to say, Yes, I can sleep peacefully today as no one will be walking over my head at the middle of the night. So y'all must be wondering what the Bathroom Flush of the title is? When we built this house, we extended a bedroom other than what the builder had provided. That extra bedroom is exactly on top of my bedroom. The planner that I am, I planned it for the son and the other corner of the house for the daughter so they have their own privacy and would not get into each other's hair. Little did I know that one day I would be pulling my hair for the rest of the years...

The boy whined a bit that his room is smaller than his sister's but adjusted happily that he gets his own bed, room etc..Now, he was in his 6th grade when we moved. But will kids always stay in 6th grade? Hell No...he grew from a pre-teen to a blood sucking teenager who eventually got a phone who eventually has SM accounts, who eventually spend all his time in that damn thing without lifting his head.

Well! All said and done this is a normal teen life style...then why fuss? because the boy's day starts at the time when I go to bed. He showers for an eternity on top of my head...then eats cereal at midnight, because he hasn't eaten cereal during the day 😲 I think these cereal factories run on families of teens. Then hydrates himself for all the water he missed drinking in the day and keeps flushing the toilet another zillion times throughout the night.

This is what our texts typically look like:

I sobbed into my pillow wishing only if I could hear him walk once, only if I could text him one more time to sleep early. 😒 I went to his room the next day and tidied up all the clothes strewn over on the bathroom floor, made his bed, lifted the blinds; for the room could use some sunlight in ages.

A week passes by quicker than it seems to be. The boy was home and has his cereal first thing after he comes home. The room is messy in no time and the bedsheet all over on Monday Morning. I don't set it that day to have the feeling of him in the house for another day. 

Now, no phase is permanent, right? The boy will come back one day and start the music again. So, I have a plan to take revenge and let's hope at least next time God will be on my side. I told him I am going to switch rooms with him when he and his wife lives in this house and has babies and they have sleepless nights...I would be an old lady who would be using the rest room the whole night and keep flushing to his annoyance and be up by walking and watching movies and laughing loudly with friends across the continents! Sigh!!!!

p.s: Like many other posts, the trigger for this is my Big Mother as I fondly call her who nudged me to read :

MTV, Brats and me | The Cybernag

Scribbles

Posted By Found In Folsom

Now that the baby turned toddler turned cute little girl with two pig tails is turning into an almost tween; her chatter is no longer an innocent musing as it used to be. From the past year or so, we have conversations. Most of her questions are around religion and they are quiet interesting conversations. This post is not one of those religious talks we had but something funny to spread some smiles like always :)

One day while rolling on the bed, Ammu blurts out: "Amma, I wished you started wearing makeup"

"why?"

"you will look pretty"

"why? I am pretty even now"

"umm.... Amma, no offense but you will look much better. All the holes with pimples; makeup will cover all that"

While I still think what to answer her next, she goes.

"you see American movies. How people put makeup on?"

"So?"

"See how much lipstick Taylor swift puts on..."

"What's Taylor Swift? Is it a movie or a person?"

"Oh! My gosh, Amma! You don't know who Taylor Swift is?"

"Nope, I dont!"

"Amma, she is the one who sang "shake it off", sings something I can't comprehend

Now it's my turn to say "oh my gosh! Amulya, you know so many things"

From rolling on the bed I turn to rolling my eyes and wave her off!

********************************************************************************************

Ammu wears a blue frock and I tell her, "Amulya, you know we bought this frock at Gymboree and they are closing stores now?"

"They are closing? why?"

"Because they are not doing so well in business. They are not making a lot of money; that's why."

"They need to tell people about their business, Amma"

"What do you mean tell people about their business?"

"They need to advertise, Amma!

See...ads on tv? I have seen a yogurt, a Bank and detergent ads but never saw a Gymboree ad .They need to sell them more, Amma"

It was another of those, I see!! moment for me.

********************************************************************************************

We had guests over and she was narrating something in English

I ask her to speak in Telugu

She says, "why?"

I tell her because they can't understand the way you speak English

"They cant understand my English?"

"What do you mean? English is one. Like you say god is one, English is also one. It is the same English we all speak.."

"Then how come they all not understand?" And gives me one of those you are so dumb looks. Sigh!

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

You know you have a teenager
When he wears knee-length socks
on Sliders and shorts

You know it's weird
But he wears a hoodie at home
a Jacket when it's 90 degrees
And shorts when it's freezing

You know he's as hungry as a bear
When there isn't a grain left
of any crap, you pack for lunch

Only a teen would respond
nonchalantly
when you call him a donkey

You get your shock of the day
when he comes by and asks,
"Do you need some help?"
You wonder, "What's wrong with him?"
And he says:
"You just want me to be busy..so I ask"

You would want to knock his head
when he conspires with his dad
"Don't give too many choices to Amma..
Like the brick color of the house"

You feel it when he circles
in the kitchen like a fly
That he wants to unload
mushy mushy secrets
of his heart

You know only he could be
So brutally honest
about your hysterics
and lame jokes

You know there is no one
who could drive you up the wall
shoot your BP
higher than him

You fight, you bicker
you hiss, you blackmail
you laugh, you love
You continue
to grow together
With each year....

Wishing you a Hundred more Birthdays and wishing that it only gets better by each year!

My Poems

Posted By Found In Folsom

Our little Ammu is growing and will be turning 8 in a couple of weeks. I see her losing her innocence slowly as we gradually inch towards more conversations than observations. Not sure if I will be doing a conversation series but here are a few musings before the innocence completely goes away. :)

This was almost a couple of years back. We were driving and I point to her:

 "Ammu, this is Sunflower"

Sunflower?

"Yes, they turn in the direction of the Sun."

"Amma, they are dancing! That is their exercise Amma"

and she giggles

I giggle too :)

***********************************************************************************************************

As soon as I reach home, Ammu was ready to be dropped at a class. I gave few instructions to S to complete pending tasks. She heard me muttering to myself...so many things to do..

Then she says: "Yes Amma because you are a mom"

Me: Ya

A: Amma, I think if you are in ammamma's tummy and if you are a baby; maybe you will think, I want to be a boy.

Me: Why do you think I would think like that?

She goes on to recite the exhaustive list of chores I manage to do in a day right from packing lunches in the morning to cleaning up the kitchen at night. If you are a boy, you don't have to do all of this stuff.
I sigh!
A: I don't want to be a girl
Me: Why?
A: Because when I grow up, I have to become a mother and then I have to do lots of work like you.
Me: Ummm...I distracted her and changed the topic for a later discussion.

Only if we had a chance to do that? 😊

***********************************************************************************************************

We both sit at the main entrance to enjoy the warmth of the evening sun. (Read as Heat 😉). 

Me: "Ammu, Did you know your friend xxxxx has her dinner by 6.30 PM?"

Ammu in her cockiest voice: "What kind of dinner is that? at 6.30 PM? 

And then she sleeps at 7:00 PM?" (Not sure if it was mockery)

Me: "Maybe"

A: "So, she sleeps for 12 hours?"

Me: "I think so.."

(The cockiness continues...)

A:"But I don't want to do that. Because...(pauses) I want to be free (She meant play time)

Amma, This is not a Prison.This is Freedom"....giggles

I look at her. She smiles and says, nobody can be the boss. Stretches her arms wide and repeats..."this is Freedom."
I roll my eyes and see where this is going. 😊
***********************************************************************************************************

Ammu on the last day of school: "Amma, I will miss all my BFFS"
S asks her, what is a BFF?
Nanna, "you don't know a BFF?
It's best friend forever..I also know what is LOL"
S: and what is that?
Ammu: "laugh out loud. I made up a new one"
S: what is that?
Ammu: "SBB"
Me: "What is SBB? I never heard of that"
Ammu: "Yeah, because I made it.
Stop being bossy!"
It was our turn to LOL.....

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

Each time I vanish and pop-up after a few months; I notice that I come up with a post of Ammusings as one of them will always be lying in my drafts. Here's one more for you and me:

Ammu: "Amma, I really don't care about American Presidents!"

Me: Why?

Ammu: "Because I am not an American..

I am an Indian"

Me: So, who is the Indian president?

A: Obama

Me: hehehe...no .....he is the American President

A: "Then who is the Indian president?"

Me: Pranab Mukherjee

A: Moh- kah-who?

Me: Pranab Mukherjee

A: What's his first name?

Me: Pranab

A: Para..What is the last name?

Me: After a good 5 minutes of trying to say the name right

A: Abraham Lincoln lives on a Penny!!

It took me a few seconds to understand that

And George Bush lives on a Quarter!

Ammu: "Amma, the girl's bathroom in the school smells nasty, yucky and horrible!"

Me: "Why do you think so?"

A: "Because you know kids don't flush properly"

Me: Ohh!!

A: "You know if you crack an egg...and the yolk comes out?"

Me: Hmm

A:"Like take another egg and crack it and there are three eggs with yolks open"

Me: Ewww

A: And you know it smells as if it stayed there for 58 years!

Me: 58 yrs???? OMG

Don't know where that number came from...sigh!!

One evening while her dad was doing his stretches:

Ammu: "Nanna, did you know what?"

S: "What?"

A: People are symmetrical

    Becuase they have sides

    Separates her legs and touches her left leg and right leg

    See.... look at my nose

    There are two sides!!

Ammu started collecting money for Jump Rope for Heart Event. When I asked her to give her contribution; she said she would do it at the end.

She adds one dollar at the end to the list of names

Me: "How come you donated only one dollar?"

Ammu in her nonchalant way: "Because I don't want to waste my money"

Me: Seriously???

While practicing music, Ammu suddenly waves off her head and says this thing makes me mad.

Me: "What thing?"

Ammu: "There are these two boys who told me: hey girl, do you know how a booty looks like?"

Me: Surprised and shocked: "they said that? to you?"

Ammu: "Yes, to me! They are big hypocrite boys who are stupid!"

Me: "What is hypocrite?" (She hears her brother use it often )

She actually doesn't know the meaning but wanted to use it for the complexity of the word and thinks that is a really bad, bad, bad cuss word.

Me: Next time if they say that, tell them: "Go ask your mommy and she will show you what a booty looks like..." (I was really mad)

After a few days...

Ammu: I saw them again...I wanted to smack their head with something!

Glad you didn't!!

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

Image courtesy: dreamstime.com

What do you want to be when you grow up? How often have we heard this question in our lives? At least in our childhood? The answer to this question keeps changing eternally as we grow up; for we keep growing up eternally.  Some of us chase our dream career and live up to that one dream. But most of us want to become something, study something and end up working as something or someone else.

In my growing up years, I wanted to become a lawyer. Do you want to know why? Because, yours truly had a great habit of arguing and a sharp tongue which I thought was enough to survive as a lawyer.  Later in High school, I wanted to become a journalist. I appeared for the entrance of a law college and got the admission, which I denied. Glad I did! However, there still remains an unfulfilled wish of not doing the journalism course. Whatever! I work as a s/w tester who books and cancels flights morning to evening. Well, my passengers can range anywhere from Brad Pitt to the Big B.

From dreaming on what to become to what I became; it's my turn to ask my kids. Right now, my daughter is very keen on becoming a teacher. She pretends to be one every day and repeats her Montessori schedule at home with us. Whereas, yours truly dreams on sending her to the Senate. Long way to go, huh? Yes, long way. By the way, nothing has changed since this post that had been sitting in my drafts for more than two years. She graduated to an art teacher.

My son keeps changing his options very often which is very natural being the son of this confused soul. Kids his age are already pretty clear on what they want to do.  One day he said, “Amma, I want to become a book illustrator”. Oh wow! The writer in me jumped with joy. A creative son for a creative mom. What else do I need? I said that’s great! "Amma, will I be famous if I am book illustrator?" Ah..well! yes, you will.

While the illustrator in him is put to sleep, he wanted to become an NBA player who could make millions.  And mind you, we don’t lift a finger in the house or move an inch of any muscle. But we sit in the sofa and discuss what shots Jordan threw, how much an NBA player makes per game and if Curry is better than LeBron.

"Amma, is it difficult to become an actor?" Long answer short, you need to have someone in the film industry. He then went over an extensive list of actors/actresses, comedians and how each of them became a film star. There were even attempts at becoming a director and that deserves a separate post. :-)

We were building our first home and the house was always filled with discussions regarding the plans, tiles, upgrades etc...If not an actor, an architect. He would come up with designs of buildings and even promised his aunt to build her a mansion. Yes, not a house. A mansion. All he does right now is sleep blissfully in the mansion built by his parents.

One lazy Sunday noon while I was cooking for the week ahead, he comes to help me in the kitchen. "I think it's better to learn cooking. If I don't have anything else, this will be an option." It was my turn to look at him in ....... (feel free to use your vocabulary to fill the blank).

Fast forward to an year and half...We were returning from a birthday party. "Amma, how much money do you think a magician will make?" Ehh..."A Magician?" Aahh...now it rings a bell...there was a magician at the Birthday party. "Oh boy!!"

Won't you tell me what you wanted to be when you grew up?

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

Schools begin in a week and summer holidays are almost coming to an end. Mom is back with me at the end of the holidays and kids have been dropped from the day care to spend the rest of summer with their grandma. And what do they do the whole day at home?

                        They EAT. Yes. They eat in the morning, at noon and at night. In between morning & noon, noon & evening and evening & night. They basically eat the whole day. So in this process of non-stop eating, their friends followed them without invitation. But would the friends just eat and keep quiet? No. They start biting you if you come in their way.

Day 1:

As mad as an ant could be, Ammu started killing them. As wise as the grandma should be, mom said, "Don't kill the ants for no reason. You will be born as an ant again". Soaking the ant wisdom parted by her grandma, Ammu stopped killing the ants. She even started spreading the newly gained wisdom to her older brother. "Anna, don't kill the ants. You will be born as an ant". I come from work and blame it on my mom for letting them eat junk the whole day. As if they would stop eating if she tells them to!!

Day 2:

I see a huge line of black ants with lumps of food that includes pieces of laddoos, peanuts and muruku. Having had an ant free home all these months, I yell: "What's happening here? How many times did I tell you guys to close the pantry door and no food on the ground?" Everyone is quiet. I look at my mom and she gives me a sheepish grin. 

 "Well, your daughter was feeding the ants". 

"Feeding the ants?"

"Yes"

R runs to complain as usual. "Yes Amma, all because of this stupid girl"

Ammu tags along and giggles when I look at her. "Yes Amma, I only gave the food to the ants"

Could there be anything sweeter than her innocent toothless smile? I said I don't feel like sweeping away the ants and their food. Mom says, that's the reason I did not clean them. And we let the ants breed on.

Day 5:

Ammu: "Anna, did you look at the ants?"

R: "Yeah, all because of you"

Ammu: "No Anna...they are fat now. "

R: "They are becoming fat with all the food you gave"

Ammu:"Yes...Yes". Giggles again!!

Sigh! Looks like time for action!

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

I know..I know..I have been missing here forever. I have been trying to be back, but just couldn't. So, here I come up with few anecdotes of the little one that had been in drafts of my blog and mind for a while. Hope you have fun reading them as much as I do talking with her. :)

Ammu: Amma, I want to be a god

Me: why?

Ammu: Because he is famous

M: Who told you he is famous?

A: because I know it

M: how do you know it?

A: I just know it myself

M:How do you know just yourself?

A: Because I am smart

M: and how do you become smart?

Amma!!! you need to keep practicing to become smart.

Ammu's Class was going to a movie.

Amma, I don't want to go to the movie

why?

It is so long...it's boring

End of the day

Ammu, how was the movie?

"I slept in the movie"

Sigh...I should know better!!

Homework time. Reading time.

Ammu: "Amma..."

Yes?

Amma, "Why does 'ohhh' (makes long sound) spell Oh and not OOO?

Hmm...because I don't know

Amma, Oh and know..rhyming.

We both giggle.

Last Friday happened to be our Anniversary.

Ammu: Amma, What is is an Anniversary?

Me: It is a day you celebrate when you got married.

A: Amma, I want to marry on Jan 1st.

M: Ehh? Jan 1st? Why is that?

A: Because I would be the first one to get married

All of us burst into laughter.

After a long day; I sit in the sofa and ask:

Ammu, can you please get me a glass of water?

Ammu: Hmm...I am not your assistant

M: (Trying to sound dramatic)

Please...who else will get it for me if not you?

Ammu: I am not your assistant. Don't ask me to get stuff for you

M: (Trying to play the bossy mom)

Then why am I cooking for you?

Ammu: In her own cool way, tilts her head and from the corner of her eye: " because I don't know how to cook".

M: I keep staring with my mouth open wide!

She comes with a glass of water and with a hand on her hip, says : Okay! but next time, I am not your assistant any more. 

I take the water, grab her by the arm and tickles and giggles follow :)

Mom always tells me to write down what kids speak; for you forget them in no time. I do it sometimes and keep thinking to do it other times. But trust me, it is totally worth it. To  go back and read them and smile. For the kids too and for us too.

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

It was one of those regular routine days of life. We woke up, got ready and left the home to our daily schedules. The kids to school and me to work. As always, the son reminded in the last minute that he had Special Friends lunch at school. The lunch was being ordered from his favorite food place. And as usual, I apologised that I will not be able to make it as I have to take half a day off from work. My mother jumped in to cheer him up saying she would join him for lunch. The perks of having your mom live with you! Content that something is better than nothing, the son left to school gleefully. I left home feeling gratified that mom is able to make it even though I am not and tried not to go on another guilt trip. I made sure to leave enough cash with mom for lunch for both of them.

I normally don't make phone calls during the day either to the husband or mom or kids' day care to check on them. However, I called mom to see if she was able to meet him at school and the lunch went well. To my dismay, mom informed that the lunch has to be pre-ordered and he was the only one who didn't have the lunch. What??? Yeah, he was upset and sad. Mom said she herself felt really awful for the kid. Cursing myself for my negligence and forgetfulness, I hung up the phone. I spend the rest of the day regretting which we moms always do.

I reached home that day filled with remorse and guilt. I apologised to my son profusely. I hugged him tight promising that I would never forget anything like that and would make it up for him. He said, he was the only one who did not have the pre-ordered lunch. While my sorry saga continued, may be he sensed that his mom might turn into a drama queen; he said, "Amma...that's okay. You didn't forget it on purpose. That's okay Amma". While I was almost on the brink of tears, he stood firm and hushed me in an embarrassed tone. "Okay, Amma, please stop crying. Now, will you cry for this? That's okay. I forgot to remind you earlier. That's my mistake. You don't have to feel bad about it so much". I had to be the silent spectator who looked at this grown up 5th grader in awe.

*Amma - Mom

This post is written as a part of 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion, where bloggers across the world are coming together to write their own experiences, feelings and expressions on Compassion. Glad to be a part of this wonderful event.

Pages from Life

Posted By Found In Folsom

Those were the days when I was travelling for work. I had mom at home to help me with the kids. One evening, the dad and son duo went to a friend's place for their wedding anniversary dinner. 

Important things spark in my son's brain out of blue. The next day while he was doing his homework, he lifts his head and asks: "ammamma, why did Charan celebrate a wedding anniversary?"

Mom: Because that was the day he got married and they celebrated the occasion. 

Son: Why does he need a wife?

Mom: Because he needs someone to cook for him, take care of his needs and have company at home

Son: Ammamma, I won't marry; I don't need a wife. For me, you are there or my mom is there.

Mom: I will go back to India and your mom will live with your dad. So, if you get a job in another city, then we won't be there with you.

After a few minutes pause...

Son: Ammamma, I will work in New York City

Mom: Ok fine, do your home work now

Son: Ammamma, I don't know the cab number.

Mom: Why do you need the cab number?

Son: Then how can I show New York Downtown to my wife???

Mom: Ehhhh? What????

Happy Weekend guys!!!

P.S: My son was 7 at that time. :)

*Ammamma = Grandma

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

Do you ever scold your kids? Of course! All of us do it at some point or the other. But how do you decide when and where and how?  There are different ways we all deal with it. Let us say, I have guests at home; you yell at your kid for something they have done. Kids feel offended very easily. And we shout at them for things they didn't do and the other kids did. If your spouse yell at you in front of others? How does that make you feel? Wouldn't we want them to convey the same to us in private? Kids also feel in the same manner. Kids keep doing stuff for nothing but irritating us when we are busily engrossed in chatting with our friends. That is the time when they break an expensive porcelain cup, spill coke on the carpet or jump from the bed and get hurt, the list is endless. Let us not offend them. They are still kids.

When kids are playing in a group and one kid comes complaining, how do we react as a parent? The reaction differs from situation to situation. Kids get into fights all the time and it is pretty common. If your kid gets hurt physically, it's our responsibility to pacify them. Always telling them not to complain during play is also not okay. They come to a conclusion that their parents won't adhere to them even when they say the truth.

If it is my kid who hurt the other kid's feelings, I would immediately call my son and make him apologize to the other kid and yell at him for his bullying behavior; give him a good dose of good and bad for what he has done. Many times I wonder, why do parents react differently? Wondering what triggered this post? The below incident. 

We have been to a picnic where the kids singled out our son saying they wouldn't join him in their group. Though these kind of acts are very common in play, any kid would be hurt when they are said something like that. He came crying and informed me of the problem. Another parent and me tried to console him but he was crying uncontrollably. As this incident is not the first of its kind, I was deeply hurt and walked out of the scene to control myself. Later I came to know that my son approached the other kid's parents and informed them what their kids did to him. This parent said, "we will talk later about it". I didn't understand what is there to talk later about it. You either pacify a crying child or call your child and tell them to be good friends.

This is how many parents react these days. Why are they blindfolded with so much of affection for their little ones? Isn't the other boy a kid like their own? 

I remember an incident very well. My sister appeared for an Engineering entrance test and her rank was around 21k. My mom would call every other person going on the street and tell them that her rank was 21k. My sister would feel so ashamed. After an year, my cousins who gave the same test secured ranks like 50k or didn't even qualify. And when asked about the ranks, our aunts would say, "Ahh, well, they got a big number or the paper was too tough, our kid got sick during the exam". I would never understand the logic behind it. We would fight with our mom about why does she have to tell our marks to everyone? And why the other parents never talk about their kids' failures?

I could only relate to the logic when I became a mom. Keep guarding and protecting your kids' mistakes, they are never going to learn.

Image courtesy: Google

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom

Hello there!! I know you all must be wondering where I have disappeared. If not for all, at least few of you. Here, I am back! I wanted to come up with a post about what is happening, but that has to wait for a few days.

You guys know how much I bark about my kids. Good or bad. :-) It’s summer and the right time to drive any parent crazy. In between fights for video games and who gets to eat the ice cream first, they still amuse me in their own way. Their wit never fails to bring a smile on my face. And I hope they bring many smiles on you too :-)

I ask Sonny boy after school, where is your lunch bag? “Oh!! Mom. I forgot”. I make a face. He grins and says, “ Amma, you know I reduced one dish less for you to wash”.

Ammu writes numbers in this way. 12, 13, 14, 15, 61, 71. My Mom asks, why did you write like that? What comes after 15? She says: “There are two numbers in it right? What’s your problem?” Order doesn’t matter for our madam.

Ammu sits on my legs while I lie down and keep rocking her. She looks at the picture of Jesus in front of her. “Amma, who is he?”

Me: Jesus

Ammu: Where is he? I point my finger up. 

Ammu: where? I can’t see him? I reply, Yes, you cannot see him. I also cannot see him. 

Amma, which fooor is he in amma? She counts her fingers? Thoo, tree, four?

It’s bath time. We both go to the closet to pick a dress. I say, Let me give you a night dress, as it was evening. NO. I want a day dress. NO night dress.

It was the second day for Ammu in the US. S takes her to a store. She points to the picture on the wall, a churro and says: “I want that sleeping line”.

A cousin was bathing Ammu one day; she bends and rubs her body. Ammu looks at her neckline and says, “I can see your puppyshame”. Nodding her head, cousin covers herself with a dupatta. Now, will the curious George leave it at that? In her most innocent tone, she blurts out: “Atha, when will I get a standing line like that?” (Cleavage)

Sigh!! That’s how she was taught horizontal and vertical lines in school in India.

She wanted to look at something on the internet. I was waiting for the page to load. Looking at the circle rotating, she asks, what is happening?

Me: The page is loading, Ammu.

Ammu: “OHH I know, it is a loading pass.

Me: What?

Ammu: I know amma, loading pass in the airport.

Umm...My turn to laugh loud. No Ammu, that is boarding pass..not loading pass.

We were driving downhill. Amma, why is our car falling? I say, no Ammu, it is going downhill. Not missing a chance to educate her, I express with my hands pointing like a plane flying that it is uphill and going down is a downhill. 

Ammu: So is sky an uphill?

We all go to Saravana Bhavan for a yummy lunch. While we wait for the food to be served, Sonny drinks water. Later, “Amma, this water tastes like Tamilnadu Water”.  Ehh?? What does that mean? Only I know what he meant. The restaurant smells of south Indian food. Sambar, ghee etc..

Here's the final cracker. Rushi was four and he would want to sleep with his grandma who came to visit us. One day, he was farting. Grandma asks, "Rushi, why are sending bombs?"

Phat comes the reply. Because there is Happy Deepavali in my butt.

Okay, now I will stop them here before you guys run away. 

*fooor - floor

Kids Corner

Posted By Found In Folsom