Learned to let it go...

As the world was busy celebrating Diwali, I was happy that S joined us finally after staying away from the family for a few months and I took a deep breath. On the other hand, the reunion brought smiles and sorrow at the same time. Smiles for all of us, sorrow for me. What kind of a person would whine when her husband joins after months? Coming to the point, the reason for my sulking is S bought a new car. Now, why would anyone cry if you buy a new car? You should be rejoicing with joy, distributing mithai and pictures on Facebook. Well, he bought a car of his choice and not mine.

Then began the process of nagging and reeling the flashbacks and reminding him on how he always bought the car he wanted etc...etc. Because this is a repetition of the car buying tradition. My frustration reached saturation and I went on thinking of all the curses that have been my prized possession over the years. My imagination took wings to paint the car saying, "I'm a piece of shit"!! Like those cars that are painted, " Just Married"! Gosh! Crazy girl! What are you? Nuts?? Peak of madness is what it is called.

I even wanted to smack it and whack it with my new mortar pestle. I fumed and sulked though he promised me to buy what I wanted after purchasing a home. I cried with my closest friends and confided all my devilish wishes of destruction. 

If y'all remember Scarlett O'Hara of 'Gone with the Wind' fame, that is exactly what I was trying to be. Trying not to think of the problem right now. I was okay as long as I didn't see that thing in the garage. I thought I was slowly getting over it. However, I swore I wouldn't step into it. 

This Tuesday, right before noon, we were all busy with our work. Some working, some chatting and some getting ready for lunch. There was a scream from the corridor outside our closed room. Something has happened. I wanted to go and see what has happened. But I didn't want to add to the crowd. After few minutes when I looked out of the window, I noticed the fire and police. Someone said they were doing CPR on a person. Within minutes, they took her on a stretcher. Later that noon, our manager informed that she had a cardiac arrest and she was undergoing a surgery. Not a good news to hear, but I was glad she got the needed help on time. I went to bed that night with a silent prayer. 

Next day morning, there was an email saying she passed away. She is survived by a husband and two kids aged 11 and 7. She came to work in the morning like any of us did, expected to get back home to her family like all of us. What's going to happen to the kids for the rest of their lives? With Thanks giving and Christmas round the corner, they won't have their mama with them? How terrible! My heart bleeds at the thought of the poor kids. 

While trying to sink in everything that is happening around, I talk to a friend on the phone that noon about this incident that happened at work. We felt sorry for the family and were discussing how short and unexpected life has become. Jokingly the friend says, and see you are fighting over a silly car. I smiled. No. I laughed at myself. 

Today morning after I pulled my car from the driveway and turned it around, I paused for a second, glanced at the new car for the first time. After all, life is short!!!

P.S: Rest in Peace Michelle May! You will be in our prayers!