Warning: This post is not intended to target any one person. All the opinions are purely the writer's ramble.
I hate Desis! Oh well, hate is a strong word, they say. Rather, I don't like desis. These days, it's one of the in things. Like wearing pants that show your bottoms, heaps of hair on the top of the head, like growing beards, over sized watches...like many of these things we see and hear everyday, dislike a desi being a desi. I hear this statement so often. Also, I have noticed not all immigrants have this special dislike for desis. There are certain categories. I don't want to single them lest they all file a law suit on me. Anything is possible in this country, you know!
This special section of desi disliking desi disorder can be found anywhere. At your work place, at your common parties, in your community club etc.They do not like to gather with a lot of Indians, send kids to a Montessori with Indian teachers, they don't like to visit Indian doctors (poor fellas work their asses off than anyone else to settle in their profession), don't visit Indian restaurants. Though many Americans love Indian food, this tribe carries their pride in savoring over Sushi and dining at a Lebanese or an Ethiopian restaurant. For that matter, they have nothing to do with India at all except feel unlucky for being an Indian. (The unlucky part, I made it up :P).
Mom lives with us here and has come across this increasing breed in recent days. That's when a few questions sprang up in our discourse.
- Aren't we all desis? Aren't we here like any other one of them? To make a livelihood? Then why hate the same breed so much?
- When you don't like Desis so much, why do you live among them? Why don't you buy a home in a place where there is no Indian population at all? May be go to Alaska..just a thought. I know folks who have done that too, BTW, Not Alaska really...
- Why do you celebrate Indian festivals? Eat Indian food?
- If your kid is sick, why do you call your desi grandma and ask for home remedies?
- Why this touch me not attitude?
Living among Indians, helped me in many ways. There are times when either of us can't drop or pick our kids from schools. I just have to call one of our neighbors and they do it for us. One of our neighbors had their family visit and all of them wouldn't fit in their car. We were more than happy to lend our van. Last weekend, there was a talk show of my favorite writer and we were wondering what to do with the kids. I just had to knock on a door and drop her there. The same neighbor called mom to ask if she can cook and send something as she was sick for past 3 days. It is mutual. Folks, there is an unexplained camaraderie in the desi community. Many of our organisations are going above and beyond in extending a helping hand to our community. One needn't face unforeseen circumstances to experience it. Next time when you utter: "Oh..Desis!"; Remember! If you aren't tolerant to your own kind, no one else will be!
It's implied that you be a Roman in Rome. One may change the way he dresses, talks, walks, eats but not the way he's born. That doesn't make you any less Indian.
P.S: Let me admit, this post rose from my own intolerance and how I grew out of it.
P.s.s: I hope you all like this new template...more peaceful and simple compared to my old one.
It's implied that you be a Roman in Rome. One may change the way he dresses, talks, walks, eats but not the way he's born. That doesn't make you any less Indian.
P.S: Let me admit, this post rose from my own intolerance and how I grew out of it.
P.s.s: I hope you all like this new template...more peaceful and simple compared to my old one.
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Good one Prudhvi ... Very true
ReplyDeleteThank you..wondering who is this Anonymous :)
DeleteYep, pros and cons of each. We hate them yet we love them. :)
ReplyDeleteTrue :) There are many cons too but not that many that we cannot live among them
DeleteBoy.... you seem pissed. :) If you think about it, it is really strange. If one is a desi and he/she hates desis, it means that they hate themselves. I don't know why you would dislike people that you have been with all your lives.
ReplyDeleteBy the way... the new look is really good. :)
Hahaha....I was not pissed entirely, but somehow mad occasionally. Exactly. That's what my husband also tells all the time. If you don't like a desi, that means you don't like yourself. Glad you liked the new look :)
DeletePerhaps its a sweeping statement meant more for a select few. Can't paint everyone with the same brush.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you, Alka. I didn't mean it for everyone. There are a select few but they are increasing by number. That's what bothers me.I met this girl at a dinner who says, I don't like to live among desis..that's why I bought a home here..then why attend a desi party at all?
DeleteBy pulling down one's compatriots, one is pulling down oneself and letting down one's country and its people. They forget that they had once been the very same 'desis' they are now turning up their noses at! But are you hopping mad, girl!
ReplyDeleteLOL...did I sound that upset? I meant it to be a witty post but looks like the message sounded very mad. I wasn't that mad as I sounded to be :P. But if the message reaches at least one of those kind of people and they start to think differently, I will be happy. Sometimes, even I feel suffocated among too many of our own type, but that doesn't make me dislike them.
DeleteLove your new look Latha.Why so lazy with your posts?
ReplyDeleteThank you, aunty. :) Glad to see you here. I know..I want to write more, but it just doesn't happen like before..not that I am short of ideas or something..Happy to hear that someone is still interested in reading me ;)
DeleteVery nice Latha ! So true when we need help always think of Desis First.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear your thoughts resonate with mine :)
DeleteI think such an attitude stems from low self-esteem coupled with an extreme desire to fit in.
ReplyDeleteAlso, most restaurants serving Indian cuisine suck. Rather have Sushi.
May be you are right...LOL...I also don't eat much at Indian restaurants as I feel I cook better than them. But flaunting about other cuisines kinda drives me a bit crazy ;-)
DeleteLove the new look of your blog! I think since they are new in the country so they try too hard to fit in and have that sense of belonging. Hence this disdain for fellow countrymen!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shilpa. They are not even that new to the country. They have been here for a while. I think it's the air in them to show off that they have been here for a while and that they don't have much to do with the newbies :)
DeleteI applaud you for speaking your mind. This is your blog, so you are welcome to say whatever you want and tell people you feel. The site looks great now, too!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Marcia. Glad you liked the new look.
DeleteI really dont understand why people would say that , they dont like desi.. I find it very sad when people do that , I know a couple who did that they moved to another area because there were no indians on that road..
ReplyDeletethe new look looks lovely Di.. all the best with it .. :)
how are you doing ...
Bikram's
I know that too much of anything is not good...but it's not that we cannot survive.what if there are desis? If you don't want to mingle with them, just shut your doors and stay inside. Who is going to bother you? Actually, I also met a woman like that who is living in a locality with barely any Indians...I can say she is partly inspirational for this post.
DeleteOh glad you liked it..some close friends complained...they were looking for the colorful look :) Thank you. Sab theek thak hai...hope all is well with you as well.
nodded my head in agreement at many places. nice post :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Sujatha!
Deleteooh! I like the new look!! Really very smart!! Yes, I know the attitude only too well and there is the other extreme too who will not mix with any other community! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you..thank you.. Oh yes! I know what you mean..I think I should write up a post saying, I love only Desis! :D
DeleteOh, all those who feel insecure and are desperate. Never forget your roots. They define who you are. BTW, forget Alaska, they can't think of settling in Vermont.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I love your new template. :)
Very true, Saru...Never forget where you come from..hehee
DeleteOh, thanks ya :)
The new look is as adorable as this post, Latha. Sadly we choose to be desis to our convenience as Purba pointed maybe due to low self esteem in some cases.
ReplyDeleteOh...glad to see you here after a long time, Rahul sir. Hope you are doing well. Glad you liked the new look :) That's what I keep telling my son all the time when he laughs at the Indian way of living.
DeleteWhere did you disappear again? ;)
ReplyDeleteActually I am writing a post which is taking longer than usual. It is not shaping up the way I want it to be. Started as a deep one but it is coming on a lighter vein like my all other posts. Let us see how it will all shape up. Target is to hit the publish button before 12/31. It has been on my mind for an year and I have to get it out of my system ASAP. OMG...I almost wrote a post here
Deleteha haa.... eagerly waiting to read it. :)
DeleteI dislike these pseudo white convert desis too. Out here they will vote for the democrats but in India they would support the republicans. They are also more archaic than the desis out there in Des.
ReplyDelete