The other day while driving, my daughter casually said, "2020! Wow! The first decade of my life went by really quick, Amma." I smiled at her and her thoughts. The first decade of my life? Is she that old to be thinking about how her life has gone by? What about me? Four decades of my life had gone by. What do I think about it? How do I feel about it? Where do I stand?
2020! I remember vividly how and where New Year Celebrations had been for the year 2000. The dress I wore, whose house we were at, the songs to which my sister danced and the feeling I felt the next day, "Wow! 2000. The turn of a century! A Millenium!" I remember wishing each and everyone I met and saw on my way, A very Happy New Year. When CBN used to say, Vision 2020, I wondered many times, where are we all going to be in 2020? Is this man crazy? Is he even going to be alive by then? These thoughts surfaced my mind many times. And see where we are in 2020. I'm sorry, Sir. For dreaming big for us and for we the people of AP having failed you forever. Shame on us and shame on the ungrateful people of AP. This topic was not my main intention of this post; however, I can't help it for my respect for this man.
I think more than half my life is over already. I feel satiated for being blessed with what I have, feel sorry for the relations that cut adrift and have become apathetic to many things in life. It doesn't bother me anymore for the vacations or holidays I haven't taken or the food I haven't experimented with. It does bug me why some people behave the way they do, but one cannot control things, not in one's control.
I stand at this point in life where I don't give a shit to what people think of or who I have to please anymore. I stand at this point in life where I can differentiate the genuine ones from the fake. I haven't mastered the art yet, but I will be there by the next decade may be ;-) I am at a point where I learned zipping the lips most of the time is better than expressing your opinions. I stand at this point where I am wise enough to pick my battles.
Above all, I stand at a point in life where I live each day with the fear of losing my most loved ones. With the fear to protect them by all might. With the fear, if my children will fail; with the fear of how they will be alone in the world when we leave them. Yet, I move on with new dreams, new hopes and small targets, one day at a time. Here's wishing you all a Very Healthy and Happy New Year!
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Lovely post, Latha. It does pay to stop and take stock once every while, to understand, as you put it, where we stand. We keep learning, evolving and becoming better human beings as we grow older, that is, if we want to do all of those things :) Wishing you all the very best for this year and years to come. A big hug and loads of love.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, BM. I can see the difference in me as how I used to tolerate everyone and everything and how my tolerance levels have gone down these days...Thank you for all the love always 😘💓
DeleteI liked this line-'..zipping the lips most of the time is better than expressing your opinions. .... wise enough to pick my battles'.One should not fear about things over which one has no control. A good post that most can relate to.
ReplyDeleteMy tolerance of people is at drastically low levels - sometimes I wonder if its good or bad though. Because on the flip side, i'm extremely selfish of my time, my energy, my morals - and don't want to compromise just to fit in. There are people around me who keep talking shit behind my back and I've successfully avoided them for months now....
ReplyDeleteHere's to a new decade - gonna be challenging as ever with both kids turning teenagers and parents entering 70's!!
Happy new year to all of you!